This week, Alex sits down with entrepreneur & advocate Betsy Sweet.
Podcast Transcript:
AS: Thank you for joining us on the second installment of our Serra Speaks podcast. I am so
excited to be joined by Betsy Sweet today. Betsy, thank you so much for joining me and chatting
BS: Thank you so much for having me, Alex
AS: Absolutely. When we started this off we wanted to have a forum because there’s a whole lot
of talk about women in business but there’s not a lot of women talking about business. So we
are creating our own space today.
BS: That’s how it’s going to happen
AS: Right, that’s how it is and no one knows about creating space more than you honestly.
Whether it’s in politics or in business. For those one or two people on Earth who haven’t heard
your name before or know anything about you, tell us a little about yourself.
BS: Well so I am a business owner I actually own two businesses and a burgeoning third one
but I have been an advocate in Maine since 1982. I started as a women’s rights advocate with
the Maine Women’s Lobby and then went to the commission for women and then have done a
lot of civil rights work and environmental work and have been an advocate at the state house for
almost forty years which is embarrassing. I have been advocating longer than a lot of
legislatures have been alive.
AS: Okay, not embarrassing, it’s thrilling and thank you.
BS: Yeah and so I have been, you know, I think sort of if I think about my approach to sort of
living is really… You know my dad always said to us kids, you know, “you make sure you leave
a place better than you found it.” And he meant make the bed and sweep the floor, I thought he
meant change the world so I was like oh, okay! So that’s sort of been my, sort of what I’ve been
trying to do and I think that you know for a long time I was just doing advocacy so I have
Mooseridge Associates which is my advocacy business and then I have another business called
Sweet Spirit which is really working with people on an individual level to, you know, come into
their strongest and best self. And now I’m doing a little media stuff. I have a weekly TV show
called The Maine Challenge and I’m working with Channel 6 doing the Political Brew so yeah,
it’s fun.
AS: So, you are someone who has really carved their own path… no matter, regardless of
which avenue it is. It’s not like in advocacy you joined a big firm and you had a job for 20 years
or you, you know joined a holistic practitioner place, like you’ve opened up all of your own
opportunities. Can you talk to us about that a little?
BS: Yeah. I think, I do think I have a sort of entrepreneurial spirit but I didn’t know that that was
possible. But, I did it out of necessity because when my first child was born I said, “oh wait a
minute I can’t work on someone else’s schedule” I can’t… there wasn’t maternity leave, there
wasn't paid family leave, there wasn’t a way for me to be… and my partner was also very busy. I
was like, “I’m going to need to leave at 3 o’clock in the afternoon, and as my kids, and then I
ended up having two other kids as well so I was a single mom of three kids… There was no way
I could work in a traditional 9-5 or 8-10, you know whatever job that’s really scheduled for men
honestly when you think about how the work place is structured. And then be the mom I wanted
to be and be involved in my kids life and get to get them to practices and dances and to the
dance and to the sports and go to the sports activities and stuff. So, I really said the only way
I’m going to be in control of my own schedule is if I create my own business and so that’s what I
did. So I had been working for the women’s lobby and the Commission for Women and I was
like “hmmm.. I can’t do this.” So that’s when I said, but I love what I do and I knew I could do
what I needed to do, you know, flexibly. So that’s what I did and I said okay and then I did it and
I was like “oh, I like this.”
AS: Here’s my question about starting off on your own because I know what that experience is
like…
BS: Yes, you do
AS: And for me it was truly the most terrifying experience of my entire life and I’ve been through
some things. So, what would you say to women who are contemplating doing it but might not
have a safety net? Like, they feel like they need because they have kids, because they have a
mortgage, because they have student loan payments. How, how do we gather up the courage
to make that leap of faith?
BS: Yeah, I think, you know, when I started Mooseridge, what I did was I held on to this job that
I had that was killing me only because of the schedule and then I started asking a couple of
people.. Well, I can do this advocacy thing, like what if they would hire me on my own? And so I
started asking around and then I actually secured the first client while I had another job and then
I was like “okay, well this is enough money” … I didn’t have a safety net, I didn’t have anybody
else, I didn’t have, you know, savings, I didn’t have any of that stuff so, that happened. And then
when I started Sweet Spirit I did pretty much the same thing. So, I had Mooseridge and it was
like, okay, but I want to do this other thing, I want to do this counseling and coaching practice.
And so I just started adding people at the margins...So people mostly want to see counselors at
five and six and seven so I said okay, I can do that. And so, I was able to phase it in, you know.
So I think, and really as I said, it was born out of necessity so it was really figuring out, “okay,
what do I have to hold onto in a structured way to be able to pay my mortgage and then what
can I add in, you know… and then the other thing that was, when I had the kids anyway, so I
would work, get them off to school and then work from 8 to 3 or 4 and then be the mom from 4
to 8 when they went to bed and then I worked again from 8 to 12:00 at night. So really I
worked.… I had to work a lot and so I think people who, you know this too, anyone who starts
their own business, you know, it is terrifying, it’s exhilarating and it’s probably twice as long and
twice as many hours as you think. You know, and if you think “oh, I’m going to work for myself
and then I’ll work less hours”… that’s not going to work.
AS: Okay, so there’s this great quote that’s the definition of an entrepreneur is someone who’s
willing to work 80 hours a week to avoid working 40. So true.
BS: That is my life
AS: Right now we’re sitting in my office in downtown Augusta and I started my company from
this office. There’s a larger office outside my door which now hosts all of my amazing colleagues
but I started right in this room and I remember it being like Saturday at 10 a.m. and I was here
right in this room because I had to follow leads or you know write proposals or working on
website language or whatever it was that I was doing. But that went on for a long time. I mean
it’s not a “I’m going to open a business…. Ready, set, mix, stir, like that’s not that's not how it
goes. It’s years and years of work
BS: Yes, of work, and still I would say.. I mean I would still say that you and I think me for
sure… I work way more hours, you know, like I’m able to take a break during the day if I want to
like I just went for a beautiful walk, you know, for an hour and that was lovely. Which I probably
wouldn’t be able to do if I didn’t have my own business. But, I will be working tonight at 8
o’clock, you know writing testimony for tomorrow, you know, doing stuff. So, and then with my
counseling business it’s, you know, I fit my clients in between all my other stuff so I’ll be at, well
not at the state house now, but on I’ll be on Zoom at the state house until 1 and then run over to
my other office from 1:30 to 2:30 or 3 and then go back to a Zoom so it’s just like a jigsaw
puzzle.
AS: Yeah. What has been the hardest part about owning your own businesses? Multiple
businesses.
BS: I mean I think the hardest part is like if you don’t do it… nobody will. You know, you can’t
just say well…well, you can. You can say “well I’m just not going to do this” but then it’s, you
know, then it’s not going to happen. I have colleagues as well in my advocacy business and so
there’s a responsibility of them, you know that’s a hard thing too. Because if things, you know, if
you have a dip… Somebody told me when I started my own business “you have to be ready for
the highs and the lows” and both emotionally but also financially and those low places where we
panic and say “oh my god, I don’t have any business going forward” and as I said my safety net
is me. So I think that part’s hard, you know to not have any place where you can just say “eh,
never mind” or you can say that but then there’s nobody else who’s going to pick that up.
AS: I’ve also heard from other, just through the last few months as I've kind of been gearing up
to do this podcast, for a lot of entrepreneurs, especially women, they say that the hardest part of
owning their own business is saying no.
BS: Absolutely
As: Because I think we just all struggle, any human being struggles, with making time for their
own health or their own space or their own whatever it is they need that fuels them and makes
them a whole person but saying no like I can’t have a call until 10 a.m. on this day because I
know I’m back loaded and I won’t get the workout in or I won’t get breakfast in where I can like
sit and just eat and you know… just basic functioning
BS: Yes and I think there’s a little bit of panic like if I say no to this then nothing else will come
and so I think that… you know, speaking of great quotes I had one this morning that I read that
was perfect which was “true self care is not just spas and dark chocolate, it is creating a life that
you don’t have to escape from” and I think that’s part of the flip side of that which is….when
you’re doing work that you love, when you start your own business, right, you start something
that you love and when you’re doing something that you love and you’re doing it with people that
you love and you’re doing it in a in a schedule that you love even though we might overdo….
you know, you’re not... you’re not feeling like “ugh I can’t wait to 5 o’clock and get the hell out of
here” or I can’t wait... you know, you’re like “this is the work, this is the thing I love”
AS: It’s play
BS: Right, exactly
AS: And I recently took one of your workshops, in full disclosure I’m a Betsy Sweet disciple of all
of her many things that she offers in the world, so no matter what she’s selling I’ve probably
bought it two or three times. But one of the things that I did most recently before Covid was the
joy workshop and we talked a lot as a group about, you know, manifesting the joy and
manifesting that and that’s a really important theme that I think we don’t talk about in business
that much…. Why?
BS: No, and I think that we, in our culture, I don’t think it’s just women I think it’s all people but I
think especially women... we sort of have these benchmarks, you know, and we say “okay well
when I blah blah I’ll be happy or I’ll get to relax” or “when I, after I have my children or after I
make my first $10,000” and you know we sort of have these things and so then we’re willing to
sort of give up everything and be miserable, basically, to reach that goal. And then we reach
that goal and then we set another one. And so from me like part of my own evolution in my own
life is to say “we’ve gotta love the journey”, you know, like we can’t just say “okay, here’s the to
seven points in my life in which I’ll be happy.” You know, it’s got to be that we’re just happy
along the journey, we’re happy doing it, we’re happy when we get there, if we get derailed..
okay, but we love doing what we’re doing. So I think that’s a really important piece of joy
AS: And so much of joy is not giving a you know what about what other people think. You are
like the queen of not caring. Like, if I think about who do I know that just does not care what
anybody else thinks about her journey, what she’s doing, and it would be you and I say that with
like full-blown admiration because I want to be more like that. I’m always worried like ‘oh my
god, what’s the perception going to be about this?’ You know, I agonize over this narrative that
two-thirds of it isn’t true, right? Like we make that up. I’m not that important, no one is thinking
about me
BS: That’s not true
AS: But you know what I mean? So how do you get to that place? How can you tell people “stop
caring about what you think other people are saying about you or thinking or doing”
BS: Well, you know two things I want to say about that. One is a great quote that a friend of
mine said to me, it’s actually a mentor of mine said to me a long time ago, “Well there’s your
business and my business and what you think about me it’s none of my business.” And so I was
like oh, that’s good. But I also think that really that’s all about other people’s judgment. And so
the judgment only, this is the hard part, the judgement only lands when we believe it a little bit
about ourselves. So if I said to you “oh Alex, your purple hair is disgusting” you know, you’d be
like “ok..?” because you don’t have purple hair, right? And so if someone says whatever they
think if we believe it a little bit ourselves, then it lands and it hurts and we really care. But, when
we know ourselves, when we just know our own truth and we just know what’s true about us
and not true about us, then what other people throw at you is really only about them. It’s not
really about you and you know as a candidate for office, you know, I ran for governor and I ran
for the U.S. Senate
AS: I heard something about that
BS: Yeah, I mean you might have heard about it. But, you know, that was like the best practice
in that, right, because every day someone is saying some horrific thing about you and you’re
thinking…so I used to do this filter: is it true about me and do I care? So if it’s true about me,
then it’s true about me and I must be okay with it or I’ll change it. And so much about what other
people say and think about us is really about them. It’s about their lense, it’s about what they’re
looking at. So I try and do this thing, and I do it in the legislature all the time, I just try and think
“wow, I wonder what must be going on in your life or have gone on in your life that would make
you act that way or think that way” or whatever, and then you’re like just somebody watching
over the thirty-five thousand foot view and it doesn’t land like that.
AS: I think this is such a critical part of conversation about women in business because I am
convinced that a huge portion of the reason that women don’t venture out on their own is that
fear of judgment from their families or from their current colleagues or
BS: From your banker
AS: Right, yeah, or whomever. So, they stay in these jobs that pay them 82 cents to every dollar
their male equivalent makes as opposed to going out on their own and charging the market rate.
BS: Exactly
AS: Which is more favorable to women. So I really want to just kind of drill home that point
about not caring and not letting that hold you back
BS: Absolutely and I think it’;s really, of course we all care about ourselves but it’s that holding
other people’s judgement or other peoples beliefs about you that you just know aren’t true. I
think we’re seeing an explosion in anxiety, right? And so I think for me anxiety occurs when
what we know to be true about ourselves like at that core level and then either how we’re
experiencing the world or more importantly how we’re being treated are just this mismatch. And
so it’s like you’re anxious because you’re like which of these things is true? And we have to get
to the point where we know always that what’s inside of us is the truth. You know, and that,
when we can not just know our truth but honor it.. That is like a freedom to then do whatever, to
do the things that you love, to do things without that fear of judgement, without that fear. And I
think we’re always going to have that fear of, you know, is it going to work or not? And that’s
real and that’s good, it keeps us on our toes, right? But I think that the idea that somehow the
judgment and when we’re afraid of the judgement, then that keeps us frozen.
AS: What gets you excited today?
BS: Oh, definitely young people. You know, I do work with young people in my counseling
business, I do work with young people politically, in my campaigns like in my senate campaign I
had sixty two interns that worked full time for me and I’m still in touch with all of them because
they, and I feel so old saying this, but I think that there is a sophistication and a drive among
young people today that they’re not going to take the S-H-I-T, they’re not doing it. They’re like
“no, no you’re not going to talk to us that way.” Nope, not, so and they have ideas. They’ve got
good ideas and they’re not partisan, they’re just their hopes and so when I spend time with them
my whole face lights up and I feel optimistic and I feel like okay, we can fix all of these, what
seem to be, intractable problems.
AS: What do you want to say to business owners when it comes to supporting women?
BS: I think for women business owners and women who want to be business owners, I want to
say let’s support eachother, let’s do this differently. We can do this differently. We can all move
all our boats forward and so let’s figure out how to do that and support eachother. I think to
other business owners, it’s like, be curious. Figure out what you don’t know, figure out what’s
different. We all come from a perspective, figure out and know what yours is, and know that
there are a thousand other ones. Be curious about what those others are.
AS: That’s a really good exercise. Figure out what you don’t know.
BS: Exactly and go find out. Meet interesting people. I have a friend, I love this, she said “well
my goal in life has always been to have a really dear friend in every decade.” Like so I have a
friend who is 0-10 and a friend who is 10-20…
AS: Let me think about this…I’m doing pretty good
BS: Yeah, right, but you know I think it’s the same thing about I think about race and about
ethnicity. Part of it is to make it happen for yourself because there’s nothing better than
understanding then by being with someone, learning with someone, you know, spending time
with someone just as a friend, as a co-worker, as a neighbor and really being curious about
them and learning and loving and laughing together. I think we need to bring more of that back,
you know, and I think that, to me, I think the next phase for us is reestablishing community and
reestablishing what that means and what’s our responsibility as an equitable, loving, fair
community member? In terms of my business, in terms of me as a human being, in terms of as
a neighbor. You know, what can I be and let me take the blinders off because we’ve been so
rugged individuals on our own for so long and I think that’s what’s going to be our downfall. So I
think now to say there’s no I in We and so I just think there’s, I think in a funny way, that’s our
opportunity that Covid has brought us. You know, as like, we really are all in this together, we
really do have a chance to have community and really open our metaphorical doors to really say
okay, A. it helped us figure out what’s important and B. to realize that it’s all about connection.
You know, we’re hard wired for connection and that’s we need to spend more time and value it
more.
AS: Last question, what do you read, watch, digest? What are things that you… would you read
The Wall Street Journal?
BS: No
AS: Do you read certain writers? Like who do you read, what do you watch?
BS: Well right now I’m a big fan of Brene Brown and her whole new leadership styles and
actually Abby Wambach, the soccer player, just wrote a great book on women’s leadership
called Wolfpack that is awesome. She has a thing called point and go about setting your
intentions. Anyway, those are the people I’m reading. You know, and the things I watch are for
and pretty much limited to escape stuff. I’m currently watching the 4th season of Madam
Secretary which is just about family and politics which of course I’m quite addicted to. And then I
think I listen to, what I try and do, I try and listen to music.
AS: What do you listen to? What kind of music?
BS: So, that varies on a morning I’ll turn on classical music or I’ll turn on what a friend of mine
calls the elevator spa music just while I’m working. But I’m Motown soul girl and oh my gosh you
have to get the greatest thing in the world it’s called 30 Second Dance Party and it looks like
that little Staples button that says “that was easy”, and you put it on your counter and you hit it
and it just has 30 seconds of wild dance music. I walk by at my kitchen all by myself and I push
it on and I just dance for 30 seconds.
AS: Oh my gosh, I totally need that for the office.
BS: It’s awesome
AS: I feel like Ben and I are the only two that would do it though. Sara might. Oh my god, I love
it. I’m not sure that Ted and Rebekah would be like “let’s disco.”
BS: You just walk by and you’re like “okay, let’s do it!”
AS: I love that, that’s so awesome. Betsy Sweet, you’re awesome.
BS: You are awesome
AS: Thank you so much taking the time out of your life to do this. I know it’s an investment
BS: Well no thank you so much for hosting it and for even thinking of this idea because it’s really
an important conversation.
AS: Thank you for joining us for this episode of Serra Speaks where we talk with women about
business not about women in business. Please be sure to hit subscribe and stay tuned for
upcoming episodes.